Night Crumbs

May 19, 2014 / Posted by:

Um, Irina Shayk, can you please move a little to your left, keep going, keep going, keep going, KEEP GOING, bitch, I can’t see Crispy Ronaldo’s freshly waxed and tanned peen yet – Drunken Stepfather

Goopy Paltrow and Chris Martin are together again and those aren’t hickeys on his neck. Those are just marks from her trying to cup all of the peasant toxins that took over his body due to all of the McDonald’s he ate after their conscious uncoupling – Lainey GossipĀ 

Macklewhore got a lot of shit thrown at him this weekend for performing in what some think is Jewish caricature drag, but he says it’s just a random costume. Dumb bitch with his dumb excuse should’ve just said he was dressed up as Concord CondorJezebel

A charred wart that was chewed off of Satan’s ass by a 9th circle rat calls Kenya Moore the most evil woman he’s ever met – Reality Tea

Oh, it’s just a topless Lindsay Lohan blaming the black kid again – The Superficial

Avril Lavigne’s ex-husband is one drink away from slow dancing with the Grim Reaper – Celebitchy

The world’s greatest literary mastermind since Katie Price’s ghost writer wore the exact same outfit that Emily Dickinson wore to all of her book signings – Hollywood Tuna

Tommy Girl’s intern did a good job at writing his Twitter profile – IDLYITW

Vanessa Hudgens is in a bikini – Popoholic

Giving a fuck about catching treats: this dog isn’t – The Berry

Here Comes Honey CaCaICYDK

Spider-Man in drag looks like a swap meet Adore DelanoOMG Blog

Patton Oswalt comes face to face with his “haters” – Pajiba

Dear Alan Thicke, please come and get this douche – HuffPo

Kendumb Jenner better take a crash course in reading at Sylvan before she has to tackle another teleprompter at the MuchMusic Awards – Just Jared

Iiiiiiiiiick. Naaaaaaaaast. – Popsugar

FYI: Rachel Bilson is done with boozing and drugging – Celebslam

These babies get it – Buzzfeed

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