The black magic voodoo curses that the crazed Beliebers casted on Drake Bell must’ve worked, because here he is at tonight’s Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas looking like all of his youth was sucked out of him. I don’t know how Drake did it, but he managed to look like an annoying 12-year-old as Danny Zuko in junior high production of Grease AND a creepy 40-year-old freelance mechanic who’s on all the lists. He looks like a child and a child toucher at the same time.
If Pee-wee Herman became a raging meth head and the only job he could get was to sing the Alex Turner part in the least popular Arctic Monkeys cover band, that’s what he would look like. And I don’t know why Drake Bell is at the Billboard Music Awards, but I’m guessing that he’s filling in for seat filler queen Chicken Cutlets who had better things to do like cut the ribbon at a new Foster Farms plant.
Pics: AP, Getty