You Can’t Keep An Asshole Down: Joe Francis Got Arrested For Assault

May 17, 2014 / Posted by:

In case you needed yet another reminder that rats are drawn to piles of trash (I’ll leave it up to you to decide who’s the trash and who are the rats in this picture). Joe Francis, the garbage person responsible for Girls Gone Wild and all-round piece of shit, had almost managed to convince us that he’d changed his asshole ways by announcing last month that he and his girlfriend Abbey Wilson had chosen to become pregnant with twin girls. Unfortunately, just like a true asshole do, he’s gone and undone any shred of hope that he’s a changed man by getting his ass arrested on Friday night for the Joe Francis-iest reason: assault.

TMZ says it all started when that dinosaur-looking douchebag decided to swing by the L.A. offices of Girls Gone Wild, probably to grab his girlfriend’s paystub (Fun Fact! They met doing GGW. Sorry, did I say fun? I meant fucking depressing). Except that he’s not allowed at the GGW office, due to a restraining order that prevents him from coming within 100 feet of the building. But because Joe Francis is as reasonable as a messy case of Taco Bell diarrhea, he entered the building, pushed past a security guard, and shoved an employee. Security called the cops, and he was hauled in to police station, where he was charged with misdemeanour battery and released.

If Joe Francis is looking to make a little extra cash, he could write a book on being a dumb asshole. An asshole assaults someone, but a dumb asshole violates a restraining order to assault someone. He could call it Goofs Gone Wild: The Joe Francis Guide To Going Back To Jailand promote it with a stand-up comedy tour where he does a bunch of Jeff Foxworthy-style ‘You might be a dumb asshole’ jokes. “You might be a dumb asshole if your name is Joe Francis. Sorry guys, just like my dinosaur relatives, my brain is the size of a walnut; thinking isn’t exactly my strong suit.”

I will say this though: it’s nice to hear about Joe Francis not assaulting a woman for a change.

Pic: Instagram

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