Emily Blunt Took Tom Cruise And Matt Damon To A “Sex Club”

May 15, 2014 / Posted by:

Emily SmokeABlunt was on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night to promote that movie she did with Tommy Girl called Edge of Tomorrow. You know, it’s that movie that we all thought came out a million years ago, because it feels like they’ve been playing the trailer since before Christmas happened. They shot the movie in London, Emily’s hometown, so Jimmy asked her if she ever took Tommy Girl out. Emily did take Tommy out a few times including once to a burlesque club called The Box for Matt Damon’s born day. So Tommy Girl went into The Box (Mark that day in history: The first time that Tommy entered a box, because usually it’s the other way around) with them.

“It was the disgusting Matt Damon’s birthday party. What a loser. And so, John, my husband, wanted to do something kind of crazy for him, because he flew to London to spend his birthday with us. And John was like, ‘We’ve got to do something crazy for him.’ So I don’t know if you’ve heard of this club called The Box. It’s kind of a burlesque stroke sex club. I mean, people aren’t having sex. There’s like weird things that go on that are supposed to make you cringe and run for your life. So Tom loves Matt and Tom wanted to come. Earlier, I think he thought it was going to be a nice civilized dinner. So I emailed him and I was like, ‘Tom, change of plan. We’re now going to go to this club called The Box. I said, just wanted you to know. You may not feel comfortable with this. It’s kind of like a sex club.’ He emailed back and went ‘Jesus Christ! Well just don’t let me walk out of there alone!’ which we didn’t.”

I’ve been to The Box once a million years ago in NYC and if the one in London is like what the one in NYC was like, then I’d hardly call that shit a sex club. More scandalous and raunchier things happened in the homeroom of the catholic high school I went to for a quick minute. There’s more hard nips and exposed pussy lips on RiRi’s Instagram (RIP!). I don’t even know why Tommy was acting all shocked. A sex club should be nothing to him. I mean, bitch is a Scientologist. I’m sure he’s seen a naked and greasy John Travolta chant to L. Ron Hubbard in between eating chicken wings in a Scientology sauna. He’s seen dirty, dirty, nasty things. He’s seen it all.

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