Beyonce could’ve killed some of the cuntspiracy theories out there about Basement Baby and Jay-Z’s “FINISH HER!” moment in the elevator by issuing a statement saying that she she has no idea what happened in that elevator, because her batteries were charging and her husband put the computer in her head on sleep mode. Most of us would’ve shrugged and said, “That makes sense.” But if she did that, she would lose her STUNT QUEEN crown for not milking the life out of this ESCANDALOSONESS. So this morning she answered to Basement Baby almost erasing all of her face on Instagram by posting four pictures of her and Basement Baby on her Instagram page. I’m surprised Beyonce and The Beygency didn’t take it all the way by posting pictures of her and Basement Baby with Jay-Z’s camel head pasted on top of Basement Baby’s head. They’re probably saving that little stunt move for the second act of this scandal.
Yesterday (or should I say, “yesterbey“), the NYDN said that Basement Baby played kickball with Jay-Z’s nuts in the elevator, because after the Met Gala he wanted to go to RiRi’s after-party. It really is always RiRi’s fault. If you’re still in school and on your history test is the question, “Who is responsible for World War I?”, just write, “Rihanna,” and you’ll get it right. The story goes that while Basement Baby, BeyonceBot and Jay-Z were leaving The Standard Hotel, he told them both he was going to RiRi’s after-party and BB freaked out:
Why can’t you go home?” a drunken Solange Knowles said to her brother-in-law as they left the swanky May 5 Met Gala after-party, a source told The News.
Then the 27-year-old singer turned to her 32-year-old big sis Beyoncé.
“You’re one to talk,” he shot back at Solange, the source said.
“Why does your husband need to go to the club right now?” Solange asked, according to the source.
An incensed Jay Z took offense to Solange getting involved in his business.
Some source said that before they got into the elevator, Jay-Z was already annoyed by Basement Baby, because earlier in the night a few of her non-famous peasant friends used his name to get into the Met Gala. And Basement Baby didn’t like that Jay-Z called the venue where RiRi’s party was at and told them he was coming alone and didn’t need extra security.
WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? Is RiRi really Jay-Z’s longterm side piece and Beyonce thinks she’s the Jackie O of today, so she just turns her head the other way? (By the way, a full-length mirror is hanging on the other way’s wall, which is always why Beyonce’s always looking the other way.) Does Basement Baby feel like she needs to repay Beyonce for that monthly allowance she gets by being her Captain Save-A-Ho?
Jay-Z is a major asshole, but I don’t blame him for wanting to go to RiRi’s after-party. Hmmm, go home with Beyonce and sit there as she spends hours upon hours looking at thousands of pictures of herself in her Met Gala outfit? Or go to RiRi’s after-party and suck weed smoke out of a stripper’s asshole? Tough choice!
Beyonce’s people answered to those RiRi rumors by doing this:
And finally, Necole Bitchie has photographic proof that the “IV” tattoo that Beyonce and Jay-Z got on their fingers before their wedding is no longer on Beyonce’s finger. Eh, that doesn’t mean anything. When the painters slathered her body in a fresh coat of mannequin paint during her monthly tune-up and maintenance appointment at the robot factory, they forgot to paint that “IV” tattoo on her finger. That’s all.