Take it away, Michael Bluth! Toddler-faced supermodel (yes ladies, it hurt me to type that) and shameless money hunter Miranda Kerr was the subject of a knock-down, drag-out brawl in the middle of the street on Sunday. According to The Daily Mail, the fight happened outside the home of one of Kerr’s current fuck pieces, billionaire businessman and amateur Shrek impersonator James Packer.
It all started when James’s best friend since childhood, billionaire businessman David Gyngell, showed up at his house in Sydney to confront him over his decision to leave his wife of nearly 7 years for the billionaire bloodhound. The two started arguing, which naturally turned into punching, then full-on fighting on the front lawn in their sweatpants. Thank god there was a pap lurking nearby in the bushes, because The Daily Mail has some truly beautiful pictures of those two middle-aged rich assholes rassling around like children. Eventually the two were pulled apart by bodyguards and were each fined $500 by police for ‘offensive behavior’.
I know these two dudes have enough money to buy all of us 6 times over, but fighting in your sweatpants on your front lawn is the definition of TRASH. And all because James wanted to remove his married dick from his wife and stick it in Miranda Kerr? Good lord. By the way, Florida would like a word with you, James and David. Showing up at your best friend’s house on a Sunday afternoon in a pair of sweatpants and kicking their ass on the front lawn over a girl who makes a living taking pictures in her underwear is kind of their thing.