“Hope you like magic tricks bitch, ’cause I’m about to make you disappear” – Beyoncé, as she presses the panic button concealed in her right hand to summon The Beygency in a windowless white van.
The messy family drama between Basement Baby, Jay Z, and HER MAJESTY BEYONCÉ just keeps getting messier and more dramatic. In the wake of the release of the post-Met Gala elevator security camera footage of Basement Baby going all Homey D. Clown on her brother-in-law, Solange has wiped her Instagram account clean of every picture of Beyoncé, except for one that was taken over a year ago. Meanwhile, Bey has left up a picture of a prayer she posted to Instagram shortly after the Met Gala about asking god to help her choose her friends wisely and to get rid of bad influences and bla bla bla. Passive-aggressive fighting on Instagram, eh? Some bitches truly never leave middle school.
But Basement Baby’s elevator brawl wasn’t her only fight that night. According to Us Weekly, Basement also got into it with designer Rachel Roy, saying she started yelling at a group of people that included Roy, who’s ex-husband Damon Dash used to be BFFs with Jay Z before the two had a falling out. They say that Beyoncé also got in the middle of it, but nobody knows why Basement started fighting with Rachel Roy in the first place. So basically, Basement Baby spent her evening at the Met Gala fighting bitches like an angry drunk chick at a high school prom.
And just like everyone predicted they would, Beyoncé and Jay Z did some damage control by making an appearance at the Nets game Monday night as Perfect Couple™ Bey & Jay. Look at those smiles! I almost believe them; good job, you two! You can barely tell that Beyoncé is mentally calculating how much time Basement Baby will require in the Re-Beyducation chamber as punishment for her insolence.