“Tee hee, your patchy little teen ‘stache tickles my face! I love you, my little lottery ticket.”
Because court-side seats at a basketball game are truly the best place to put on a positive publicity show (expect to see Beyoncé and Jay Z laughing and smiling with a heavily-sedated Solange at a Nets game any day now) the stinky yellow arrowroot biscuit turd in Canada’s Pull-Ups Justin Bieber tried to prove to naysayers like Seth Rogen and Jon Hamm that he’s the opposite of “shithead” by bringing his mommy Pattie Mallette to a Los Angeles Clippers game on Mother’s Day and putting on a show for the photographers that – coincidentally – had an unobstructed view. Awww, just what every mother wants: to be used as a pawn in a publicity stunt at a basketball game. How thoughtful of you, Justin. Truly a meaningful gift that came straight from the heart.
Of course, his plan backfired in the most spectacular way. According to E!, when a cameraman put Justin and his mom Pattie on the jumbotron, everyone in the Staples Center booed their asses. Sort of like back in March when just hearing the name “Justin Bieber” sent everyone at the Juno Awards flying into a fit of boos. Part of me wants to feel bad, because booing a small child and his mother at a basketball game is really cruel, but maybe there’s a good reason for all those boos. Is there a cosmetics shortage in Los Angeles right now? Justin was wearing an awful lot of foundation and bronzer. Or maybe he looked cranky and they thought the sound of their boos would mimic a white noise machine and soothe him to sleep? See, this is why you don’t bring babies to basketball games; they get too restless.
Here’s more of Justin and Pattie Mallette hamming it up for the paps at the Clippers game. I might be right about those boos making him tye-tye, because he started sucking on his fingers like he was ready for a nap (that’s funny, I always pegged him for more of a thumb sucker kind of baby). And to make sure you don’t feel too bad Justin getting booed, please enjoy Justin looking like a douchey turd sandwich while greeting his fans on Saturday night.