Well, That’s One Way To Get Hepatitis

May 9, 2014 / Posted by:

Zoe Saldana, one-time beard of Bradley Cooper, the blue chick from Avatar, and most importantly, Kit from Crossroads, was on the SiriusXM radio show Sway in the Morning (which sounds like it should be hosted by Delilah and ONLY Delilah) to promote Rosemary’s Unwanted Remake and confessed to the nastiest place she’s had sex. And when I say nasty, I mean N-A-S-T-Y-aren’t-you-at-the-clinic-right-now-getting-a-million-tetanus-shots?

Zoe says that she’s had sex in a plane (then again, who hasn’t) and that the craziest place she’s gotten her rocks off has been on the New York City subway, which doesn’t sound so crazy if you’ve ever ridden the subway in a large city (raise your hand if you have to use your toes to count the number of times you’ve seen two crust punks tenderly dry humping under a trash bag). But it’s where on the train she got her fuck on that makes you truly question Zoe’s sanity:

“Okay this is ghetto, but hey I’m from Queens so whatever. There is a train from Coney Island [New York] all the way back into the city, and it was between two train cars. It was super ghetto. But I’m a lady now.”

You’ve got to be hornier than a teenage squirrel at squirrel prom to agree to fuck between the cars on a train. Forget the fact that it’s New York and that just breathing the air in some places will give you HPV of the lungs (mostly the area surrounding Lindsay Lohan’s apartment). I’m actually more concerned that she pressed her parts against all those filthy gears and grimy doors. You know when they do those swab tests on Dr. Oz that shows there’s more fecal bacteria on your cellphone than inside of a dog’s mouth or butthole or whatever? Now imagine what they’d find if they swabbed the area between two train cars. Spoiler alert! Rat feces. They’d find tons of rat feces.

I’m guessing she didn’t get her Coney Island fuck-on with Bradley Cooper (he’s too much of a lady), but by the looks of her fancy hobo husband Marco Perego and that scraggly filthy-looking hair nest, something tells me he’d be cool with it.

Pics: Splash, Wenn

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