Hmmm, so did Angelina play Maleficent or did Maleficent play Angelina? That is the question.
The St. Angie Jolie biopic titled Maleficent comes out on May 30th, so brace yourselves for three weeks of seeing her in nothing but skin-colored condoms shoes and size negative four black sack dresses that even Mrs. Roper would call “homely and matronly.” The non-stop black dresses and forehead vein officially tour started in London today at the “private reception” for Maleficent held at Kensington Palace. St. Angie brought Brad Pitt who did himself up like a character in Ray Donovan. Together they look like a mid-level mobster and his Wiccan advisor/piece at the funeral of one of the members of the Addams Family. If you pasted pieces of fried prosciutto all over St. Angie’s body, she’d almost look like Carlton Gebbia.
And while St. Angie was doing her job, she told Brad Pitt to scat and go and look at that pretty background. Mama’s working.
Six seconds after Brad looked at those pretty leaves and asked himself, “Hmmm, I wonder if I can smoke that shit?”, he pulled out the bong he carries in his pocket and smoked that shit.