I love that it looks like SAG man has forced his little green arm to grow twice its length so he can give Jennifer Lawrence an extra-dramatic “Bitch, you need to STAHP”.
I don’t know if there’s a word for that psychic ability to sense when someone has rolled their eyes at you, but regardless of what it’s called, America’s nacho cheese-drinking, crotch-scratching, fuck you-flashing, red carpet-tripping Sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence must have it as strong as the kid from The Shining had the shine, because she knows that we’re all pretty much over her Random Acts of Realness fuckery. In an interview for the June issue of Marie Claire, Anne Hathaway 2.0 explains why America’s love affair with JLaw has sort of hit the skids:
“Nobody can stay beloved forever. I never believed it, the whole time. I was like, just wait: People are going to get sick of me. My picture is everywhere, my interviews are everywhere; I’m way too annoying because I get on red carpets and I’m really hyper, most likely because I’ve been drinking, and I can’t not photo-bomb somebody if it’s a good opportunity.”
“Honestly, I’m just doing my best. But if people want to start the backlash, I’m the captain of that team. As much as you hate me, I’m 10 steps ahead of you.”
“You hear that, haters? I just found a new way to keep it real! Hashtag: deal with it. Want to talk shit about Jennifer Lawrence? Get in line bitches! What do we want to make fun of first? I’ve got a story about getting a wicked case of the whiskey shits that might work. Whaddaya say, do you love me again?”
Here’s more of America’s annoying younger sister in Marie Claire looking like the no-nonsense CEO from a 90s Disney movie I just created in my head about a 10-year-old kid named Tyler who spends the day at his father’s office (“Suit and Ty” starring Jonathan Taylor Thomas):