I’m really not sure who the HSOTD in this video is. Is it the Bulldog Security System or the black bear who is not here to fight. Or a little of both.
Footage from a New Hampshire family’s security camera showed their two bulldogs goings nuts and practically barking out, “Hold me back, bro,” when a big ass black bear crawled into their manicured, sharp-as-fuck backyard (Seriously, is Edward Scissorhands their gardener, because that shit is pristine) to get a little snack from the bird feeder. The railing can’t hold the bulldogs’ rage and they bust through and come at the harmless black bear. The black bear stands up and stumbles like you coming out of the bar at 4am on a Saturday and there’s a not-at-all threatening stand-off before it runs away. It kind of reminds of a few weeks ago when I was at my mom’s house with my dog who’s shorter than Tommy Girl without his heels and weighs about as much as a ladybug’s wet fart. My dog wanted to go out into the backyard, so I opened the screen door thinking he had to shit and as soon as I did he went nuts and ran after this possum. My dog was about half the size of that possum and thought he could take it, but I knew that possum could rip his ass up with one swat and then I’d be holding his injured body in my arms while screaming into the sky about how I’m going to get those possums. But the possum threw a haughty “this bitch” look before running off, which is what this black bear did too.
At one point, I thought the bulldogs and black bear were going to get into something other than a fight. One bulldog’s sniffing the bear’s ass while the other bull dog looks like he’s trying to kiss the black bear. This black bear wasn’t into it, but every night the humanized black bear that is John Travolta prays to Xenu to please let two pocket hotties take him from each side.