“Hey Snooki, Can We Try It One More Time Where You Don’t Act Super Bummed Out?”

May 8, 2014 / Posted by:

Everyone’s favourite fun-size Chick-O-Stick in a Party City Ariel wig confirmed last month that she had a tiny cluster of spray tan molecules growing inside her Ewok pouch, and now Snooki is back again to reveal the gender of said growing bubble of coagulated spray tanner. Along with her son Lorenzo (who deserves a round of applause for that “Bitch, you took me away from mashing soggy animal crackers into the carpet for this?” look he was throwing her at the 0:10 mark) Snooki opened a bin that her fiancé Jionni LaValle had filled with either pink or blue balloons to find out whether she was knocked up with a Situation or a JWoww.

Snooki has been pretty open about how she wanted to push out another little boy, but because destiny is a difficult bitch, she made sure that bin was crammed full of pink balloons. And Snooki was clearly not prepared for disappointment; the dead look in her eyes and the pathetic “Yaaaaaayyyyy” she forces out is pretty cringe-worthy. The only thing that could have made it more awkward is if she started frantically cramming all the balloons back into the bin, yelling “Do over! Do over! This one didn’t count! Lorenzo, go get mommy another bin!”

Meanwhile, the tiny Mini-Snooki inside her cackles away as she absorbs more self-tanner through her umbilical cord and uses a piece of roughed-up intestine to tease her 3 hairs into a pouf.

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