And with a face and a body like that, how can the moms resist?!? Talk about the definition of DILF (Deaner I’d like to fake a cheating scandal with). When Deano “The Deaner” McDermott rolls up to school, the unloading zone isn’t just for dropping off children; it’s also for dropping panties (oh god NO, I should not have said that. Please email me instructions for cleaning vomit out of a keyboard).
The producers of Fame WhORI must have caught wind that 99.999% of humans believe that Tori Spelling’s “marriage crisis” is about as real as her left tit, because Radar claims The Deaner was a beady-eyed bangaholic gold-digging dirtbag long before he admitted to cheating on his wife with that made-up chick from Toronto. In fact, a source says The Deaner didn’t have to go very far to chase non-Tori tail:
“Dean began brazenly hitting on a hot mom in their son Liam’s class,” an insider tells Radar. “She is a busty blonde, and always impeccably dressed, even for pick-up and drop-off. Before the cheating scandal made news, Dean was openly hitting on her.”
Come on, insider, you’ve got to try harder than that. The Deaner would never limit himself to one mom, and she doesn’t have to be hot. The Deaner’s wandering peener knows no limitations. It’s the Statue of Liberpeen. “Give me your hot moms, your ugly moms, your married and single. The Deaner welcomes ’em all.”
And I wonder what it was like when The Deaner was openly hitting on said hot mom? I bet it went a lilsomethinglikethis:
“Pardon me, ma’am, but may I ask you what’s crappenin’? My name is The Deaner, but I bet it would look better on your bedroom floor. Aw FUCK, I messed that up. Gimme a do-over? The Deaner made a stop at Hooters on the way over, but ended up pounding more beers than pussy, if you know what I mean. Fun Fact: The Deaner is Canadian. Wanna see if my dick tastes like maple syrup? Hey, where you going? You still want my number?”
At which point, they asked him to quiet down, because they were about to start the PTA meeting.