And The Fourth Runner-Up In The Miss Rebel Alliance Pageant Is…

May 6, 2014 / Posted by:

Not Kirsten Dunst! You think that sad excuse for a Death Star costume would take her anywhere close to the top 5? They don’t give crowns to lazy tricks who wrap a Star Wars bed sheet around them and call it a day. You gotta WERK if you wanna steal the title from Khloe Kardashian (who wins every year with her flawlessly realistic Wookie costume).

Betty Draper-in-training wore a dress from Rodarte’s Star Wars-themed fall 2014 collection, but I’m so disappointed she picked the safest one. If there’s any event where it’s ok to dress like a goddamn mistake-humping disaster, it’s the Met Gala. She should have picked the one where C-3P0 is popping out of the sand to guard your pussy against Jawas, and paired it with an R2-D2 helmet. Hell, she could have written RETURN OF THE JEDI on her face in red lipstick, and she still wouldn’t have been the most questionable-looking one there (is everything okay, David Burtka??).

But that’s assuming she even knows what Star Wars is, which I don’t for a second believe she does (because if she did, she’d know you’d NEVER wear something that glamorized the Galactic Empire oh god I’m such a loser). Kiki’s only concept of Star Wars is probably limited to what she saw after drunkenly wandering into Star Tours at Disneyland, and I’m sure that when someone asked her about her dress she was like “I’m a total nerd! I love Star Wars, I’ve probably seen it 400 times. My favorite character? Probably Spock or Gandalf. ‘Use the force, Harry!’ OMG I’m such a geek.”

Pics: Splash

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