What In Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo Hell?

May 5, 2014 / Posted by:

If Cinderella’s fairy godmother really hated her and was also addicted to bath salts, this is the dress she’d end up wearing to the ball.

Drunk Ass Sandra Lee brought her semi-homemadeness to the Met Gala (more like MESS Gala) tonight in NYC by wearing a dress that was made with a Rite-Aid Cinderella costume, satin bolster pillows that came apart in the washing machine and all the tulle in Manhattan. She looks like a boozed-up, desperate, middle-aged Cindrella who put on her old gown to relive the glory days and to pick up some young princes in the next kingdom over. Those giant satin turds on her hips look like fancy goiters. She’s probably storing 6 1-gallon jugs of vodka and various mixes in those satin turd bags. You never know when an open bar is going to run out of booze, so Drunkerella always comes prepared.

An open bar + a gigantic ball gown + Sandra Lee = a beautiful disaster waiting to happen.

I hope that Kim Kartrashian is standing in the middle of the stairs when Drunk Ass Sandra Lee tries to walk down and trips on her gown, turning her into a drunk, satin bowling ball that knocks that Kartrashian out. It’s the only good that can come out of that mess of a dress.

Pics: AP, Getty Images

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