Okay, Who Projectile Diarrhea’d All Over The Front Of Katie Holmes’ Dress?

May 5, 2014 / Posted by:

In the Scientology bath house, Tommy Girl is letting out a high-octave cackle over how busted Katie Holmes looks at tonight’s Met Gala MESS Gala and all the other boys are throwing him a, “Bitch, you’ve looked worse and I know you’ve gotten into scat play,” side-eye.

This year’s Met Gala theme is supposed to be Charles James: Beyond Fashion, but Anna Wintour must’ve decided to fuck with some certain whores by writing on their invitation that the theme is really Busted Disney Princesses Who’ve Been Dragged Through The Gutter. Because first Sandra Lee shows up looking like what you’d get if you called a Hire-A-Princess company and told them you could only pay with a torn dollar bill and bottom shelf vodka shots. Then Katie Holmes shows up looking like a down and out Belle. If Belle got really uppity and snobby when she married the prince and the staff had enough of her shit and jumped her before shooting her with a paint ball gun full of poop, this is what she would look like as she ran for safety to the town square. This is post-traumatic stress Belle.

Suri had ONE job to do and that job was to not make Katie looks like a raggedy mess. Suri failed us all. Suri, you’re fired!

Pics: Getty, AP

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