Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 4, 2014 / Posted by:

The fabulous gay feathers and Pegasus wonderland extravaganza that Johnny Weir wore on his beautiful gay Pee-wee Herman head to the Kentucky Derby yesterday!

Just when I was beginning to think to think that The Crystal Enchantress of the Ice has reached the pinnacle of fabulous, beautiful gayness, he goes and wears something that makes my b-hole tingle, pucker and spit out a glitter-covered unicorn phlegm ball. You probably already read this on CNN, the BBC, Al Jazeera and MSNBC, but the Kentucky Derby was canceled yesterday, because all of the horses refused to race once they saw the ethereal equine altar on Johnny Weir’s head. They got on the ground and bowed before that beautiful idol. Johnny Weir’s Pegasus feather hat is to horses as what a Jesus statue from the swap meet is to a Catholic abeulita. That hat is their religion.

A bunch of feathers from Michael’s and one of Liberace’s old Christmas tree ornaments aren’t much on their own, but put them together on Johnny Wear’s head and it creates a magically stunning centerpiece that finally answers the question, “What’s gayer than gay?” That hat is where the unicorns who used to frolic through Robert Pattinson’s magical hair went to frolic some more.

IT’S OPULENCE!

Johnny Wear officially won the Kentucky Derby yesterday. Oh, and that Tara Lipwhatever girl was also there.

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