One of the big reasons why everybody with a sense of sight thinks Ronan Farrow was made with Frank Sinatra’s jizz is because, just like his daddy, he’s got eyes that make you want to miniaturize yourself, grab a miniature floatie lounger and float on his grey blue iris. But Page Six, the destroyer of illusions, has gone and ripped the contacts right out of Ronan’s eyes and EXPOSED him! A source tells Page Six that Ronan wears special contacts, unlike the not-to-special ones you and I wear, and they turn his boring, old regular blue eyes into Frank Sinatra blue eyes. Ronan is basically like my cousin who buys her “Elizabeth Taylor violet eyes” at a beauty supply store next to a Blimpie’s in a strip mall. The source put it like this:
“He’s blind as a bat, they are prescription contacts. They are tinted white, but they do make his eyes brighter blue.”
What next? Page Six is going to tell us that Prince Hot Ginge dyes his hair with red henna? Or that Phoebe Price doesn’t have shellacked chicken cutlets stuck in her cheeks? Her cheeks are just naturally like that. Or that Jon Hamm’s really got a skinny shrimp dick and he puts a knee sock stuffed with ground chuck in his pants? I can’t take anymore. Oh, Page Six, quit making my brown eyes the color of Ronan Farrow’s eyes when he puts on his special contacts.
Here’s Ronan working that pucker at the Time 100 Gala in NYC on Tuesday night. I also threw in pictures of Martha Stewart in her favorite sequined capris, because I know you want to spend a piece of your Thursday squinting at her crotch to see if you see toe.