Paranormal Activity 2 Paranoid Activity 2 (aka Worse Than Scary Movie 5) actress/beauty pageant contestant/counterfeit swap meet version of Catherine Zeta Jones Natasha Blasick has claimed in an interview with UK’s This Morning that a ghost has had sex with her, not once, but twice. With help from “top Hollywood psychic” (a title we should all aspire to have) Patti Negri, Natasha explains what it was like the first time she experienced spectral rape. Yes, she said ghost rape. And no, I CAN’T:
“I felt something entered the room. I couldn’t see anybody. Suddenly I could feel that somebody touching me. Their hands were pushing me against my will and then I could feel the weight of their body on top of me but I couldn’t see anybody. At first I was very confused then I decided to relax and it was really pleasurable, I really enjoyed it.”
Natasha also says that both times she’s had sex with a ghost it’s been when her husband was out-of-town. Of course.
So let me get this straight: Natasha Blasick, a woman none of us have ever heard of before today (unless you’re a promoter for low-budged Catherine Zeta Jones conventions) claims that when her husband leaves her alone, a horny Slimer sneaks into her room with a ghost boner, immobilizes her so she can’t leave, busts an ectoplasm nut, then leaves? Bitch, if that really happened (it definitely did not, but continue) why aren’t you calling Ghostbusters and pressing charges against that degenerate ghoul?!? Oh right, because you can’t film more crappy direct-to-DVD movies when you’re confined to a padded room at the nuthouse.
And expect The Deaner to use the ghost excuse the next time Tori Spelling catches him cheating: “I went to that run-down Hooters – you know, the one that looks like it might be haunted? And I got a blow job from what could possibly a ghost, but she meant nothing to me, I swear!”