The NBA Will Have To Pry The Clippers Out Of Donald Sterling’s Cold, Dead, Racist Hands

When the NBA hit Clippers owner Donald Sterling with a lifetime ban for mouth farting out some racist foolery, I figured he’d really show them and have the last laugh by dropping dead two seconds later. I thought he was going to pull some, “You can’t break up with me, because I’m going to break up with you fir-*croak*” shit. But Donald Sterling isn’t going quietly into his plantation house. The commissioner of the NBA, Adam Silver, said yesterday that he will try to force Donald Sterling to sell the Clippers, but that old racist coot isn’t going to just sell the team, take his check for half-a-billion dollars, retire from the sports world and use some of that money to remake his favorite movie Goodbye Uncle Tom. He’s going to fight.

James Gray of Fox News (via SI) talked to Donald Sterling on the phone after bitch got banned by the NBA and he said he’ll never put a for sale sign on the Clippers.

“I just spoke with Donald Sterling on the telephone just moments ago. He is unaware of what is going to happen to him. He has not been notified [of his impending punishment by Silver]. He also said he really didn’t want to comment on the record, however the team is not for sale and he will not be selling the team.”

Adam Silver said he needs a three-fourths majority vote of owners to force Edwin Epps’ grandson to sell and many of the owners are with him. So if Adam Silver gets the votes, Donald Sterling will fight and they’ll go to court where all the recordings that V. Stiviano has of her sugar daddy saying racist shit are just going to start falling from the sky.

The Clippers aren’t officially for sale yet and there’s already a line of buyers forming. Gay billionaire David Geffen (net worth: $6.2 billion) has already said that he’ll pull out his wallet if the Clippers goes up for sale. David Geffen better slather his face in Crisco and stick razors in his hair glue razors to his bald head, because he’s got some competition in Malcolm in the Middle. Frankie Muniz IS going to buy the Clippers. Frankie’s net worth is supposedly $40 million and that’s far away from $575 million, but never underestimate a delusional, shameless fuck who is not proud enough to stroll into a Check Into Cash and cash a post-dated check for $535 million.