While the rest of us in coach are busy barfing up our complimentary bag of 7 stale almonds or fighting with the headrest TV to pick up any channel besides the one that shows a map with a picture of our plane flying over it, the horny rich fucks of first class are getting their rocks off under cashmere blankets. They don’t even have to leave their seats and try to sneak into the bathrooms like the rest of us! AND they get free champagne? First class really is a better way to fly.
When asked about the craziest place she’s ever had sex, sexy chipmunk swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen told Sorority News (aka Cosmo) that her and husband John Legend made things awkward for everyone trying to enjoy their free foot rubs (or whatever shit they get in first class) by getting gross in their seats:
“We were on our way to Thailand to see my parents, flying commercial first-class. We were under a blanket. We weren’t even in one of those pod things. I feel like we should get a trophy for that.”
I don’t think they give out trophies for smearing your nasty crotch liquids all over the seats of first class while your fellow passengers whisper to each other “They’re definitely fucking under that blanket, right?” But if they did, I’m sure it would be presented by the stewardess who had to touch that jizz-covered blanket when you landed in Thailand.
Chrissy also went on to tell Cosmo that she’s lucky to have met her partner in mid-flight fucking, because he’s pretty much the reason she has a career. Maybe that would explain why Chrissy got 3 Cosmo covers? Who knew John Legend had so much pull at Cosmo. Here’s all 3 covers featuring Chrissy in a variety of shorts (“Try out this sexy new trick on your man’s taint. Hint: it involve shorts!”) as well as Chrissy in a bathtub showing us what the seats looked like in first class after her and John were done with them.