Bitch Got Banned For Life: The Donald Sterling Edition

April 29, 2014 / Posted by:

Adam Silver, the commissioner of the NBA, announced in a press conference today that they have stamped the words “BANNED 4 LIFE” on the forehead of racist pile of burnt ass lips Donald Sterling after his side piece leaked audio of him saying that he doesn’t want her bringing black people including Magic Johnson to Clippers games and other racist crap. I know Donald Sterling is a dried cow turd sitting on top of a pile of wet trash, but the NBA is cold. How could they ban a racist when he’s 9 months pregnant?! Actually, judging by that pic, he’s also pregnant with half of the concession stand and a whole lot of bullshit. Racism sure is fattening.

Adam said that during the NBA’s investigation of the audio, Donald Sterling admitted that it was his voice and he said all that shit. Adam said that Donald’s words were deeply offensive and harmful. Donald isn’t allowed at any NBA games or practices and he can’t step foot in any team facilities. He’ll also have to pay a $2.5 million fine (“Oh, let me get that money from the jar of loose change I keep on my kitchen counter” said Donald Sterling), which will go to an anti-discrimination charity. Adam is trying to force Donald Sterling to sell the Clippers, which is worth $575 million, and he needs a three-fourths vote from the Board of Governors to do so and he thinks he’s got the numbers. Adam decided to hit that bitch with a lifetime ban after speaking with players, coaches and owners.

This decision comes after several sponsors dropped the Clippers and the Clippers coach Doc Rivers said that if Donald Sterling stayed on as owner he wouldn’t be back to coach next season. The Clippers spit out this statement after the NBA scrubbed out the racist skid mark from their chonies:

“We wholeheartedly support and embrace the decision by the NBA and Commissioner Adam Silver today. Now the healing process begins.”

Somewhere, Paula Deen and Cliven Bundy are getting their coins together to buy the Clippers.

Meanwhile, Donald Sterling’s side piece V. Stiviano claims that she has hundreds of hours of recorded conversations with her sugar daddy. Apparently, he constantly forgets what he says to her so she has to play conversations back for him so he remembers. Some might call that “excessive,” but I call it gold digger insurance. V. Stiviano also claims that Donald Sterling isn’t her sugar daddy and their relationship is strictly professional. Well, “professional” is one word you can use to describe the relationship you have with an old fart who pays the mortgage on your condo and buys you a BMW every year to sit on his tongue.

Here’s V. Stiviano arriving back at home after going to court yesterday. Chick definitely knows how to dress for court. Court room glamour is looking like a member of Daft Punk as seen through the eyes of Lisa Frank.

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