Like That Fame Whore Tori Spelling Does Anything “In Secret”

People has learned (read: Tori Spelling told them after begging them to please run it and she’ll give them the exclusive details of how Dean McDermott realized in therapy that he’s a woman and she will stand by him as he transitions. All the details will be featured in a 2-part People spread and a new 36-episode reality show called TransTORImation) that Tori Spelling was recently laid up in a hospital in L.A. somewhere with an unknown condition. I have EXCLUSIVELY learned (no, I haven’t) that the factory-defected melting wax Lamb Chop figurine was diagnosed with fakebitchitis and Famewhorehausen Syndrome and the only cure was for her to be filmed in the hospital for her fake reality show.

The source tells People that Tori’s diagnosis isn’t known and the entire hospital stay was kept a secret. But the cameras kept rolling while she was in the hospital, because if the cameras stopped filming that fame whore, she’d stop breathing.

A source close to Spelling said the actress has been in “total crisis mode.” “There’s just too much pain,” the source added. “Tori is very, very upset and angry.”

What’s really amazing is that this “secret” was kept a “secret” until after the fact. So many people were involved in Tori’s “hospital stay” (examples of people involved: directors, script writers, assistants and the crew who built the hospital room set) and not one of them spilled the plot details to the tabloids. They probably just didn’t give a fuck enough to do so.

Here’s Poor Tori filming her totally real reality show True Whori with the strung out possum slut Dean McDermott in Studio City, CA yesterday.

Pics: Splash