Slutty Silly Putty hobgoblin Kim Kardashian and lead hooker-in-training Khloe Kardashian-Odom (“Stay tuned for the heartbreaking double-episode of KUWTK where she drops the Odom!”) went to the LA Mud Run on Saturday. Obviously running was out of the question for these two, since most high-impact activities will cause the hardened low-grade silicone in their asses to shatter, so instead they stuck to an activity Kim is good at: laying down and letting gravity do the work.
Khloe posted the picture of the two to Instagram yesterday with the caption: “Keeks and Kokes #MudRun” (Keeks and Kokes? More like Queefs and Jokes, amirite people?). Neither Kim not Khloe went into the muddy water at the bottom of the slide because Pimp Mama Kris is waiting for interest in her hookers to hit rock bottom before resorting to scat porn. NO! It’s probably because the 40lbs of makeup and eyelash glue on their faces would have shocked the pH level of the muddy water, forcing the EPA to come in and check the environmental damage caused by the contaminated cesspool. But thank goodness Kim and Khloe remembered to cover their faces while going down the slide; after all, there were young, easily frightened children present.
And because it wouldn’t really be a post about Kim Kardashian without a picture of her remarkably life-like face, here’s Kim and Khloe filming scenes for their basic cable reality show, Stupid Spoiled Dummies. I can’t even fucking believe I’m about to say this, but Kim doesn’t look terrible here (what was left of my soul just shrivelled up like a Shrinky Dink in a toaster oven). Then again, it could be the result of standing next to Khloe, who looks every bit the definition of a hoochie mama. What scene were the filming? The one where Khloe drops off her resume at Cheetahs?