Lindsay Lohan was on the UK talk show Alan Carr Chatty Man last night to promote the UK premiere of the shit show that was watched by a total of 3 people (a psychiatrist who specializes in severe delusion, White Oprah and a drunk and stoned me) in the US and Alan Carr must’ve ignored the scent of a barback’s end-of-the-night bin wafting off of her, because he asked her when was the last time the sweet nectar made its way down her throat. In Lindsay, LiLo treated Sharane from House Party (aka her life coach) like shit after Sharane asked her on camera if she had been drinking. LiLo denied it at first and later admitted that she sort of kind of fell off the wagon and landed mouth first on a bottle of wine. So Alan Carr asked her if she’d had a drink since then and it’s kind of cute that he thinks she’s actually going to barf out a drop of the truth. The recovering alcoholics I know can tell me the year, month, day, hour, minute, second and millisecond since their last drank, but LiLo spit out some “Don’t remembah!” shit:
“I don’t know – a long amount of time. I mean there was a point on the show when I was in a relationship with someone and I like had a drink and I freaked out and didn’t want to say anything on the show as I didn’t know how that would come across and I was just scared. And that’s when it kind of hit home that I was doing a docu-series, and I was like you know what, I’m honest and I’m open and I’ve never really hid anything, unfortunately there are some things I would’ve like to have kept hidden have been out there.”
LiLo gets a lot of shit for being a melting plastic dispenser of pure lies who wouldn’t know the truth if she snorted it up, but I actually believe her this time. Believing LiLo is a lot like eating vanilla ice cream without Hershey’s syrup and looking at pictures of Prince Hot Ginge without fapping. It just feels weird and unnatural, but I do believe. LiLo doesn’t remember, because bitch blacked out.