Colin Egglesfield Is Helping Malin Akerman Hump Away Her Divorce Sads

April 25, 2014 / Posted by:

When it was announced back in December that Malin Akerman’s husband had gifted her with an early Christmas present by stuffing her stocking with divorce papers, I made a little bet with myself to see if her rebound would be another dude who looks like the Guitar Centre version of Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Well, it looks like I owe myself $10, because according to People she’s rubbing her hotness all over Colin Egglesfield. I know, by some divine miracle, two hot people found each other. Praise Dorito Jesus. Not much is known about their relationship so far, but a source tells People:

“They’re getting to know each other. They’re taking it slow.”

Someone hand me the smelling salts, I believe I got the vapors from reading that insanely graphic, sexually explicit description of the raw sexual tension between Malin and Colin. I hope there were no children in the room when you read that, because that was raunchy. I can almost picture them “sensually kissing”.

I knew nothing about Colin Egglesfield before today (I literally pictured a Colin-looking dude twirling in slow-motion through a field of scrambled eggs) and after staring at his Wikipedia page for 10 minutes, I know more than I need to. Colin Field-of-Eggs was born in Michigan. Colin Field-of-Eggs used to be a model (brb must do research with Michael K). Colin Field-of-Eggs is on Rizzoli & Isles. Colin Field-of-Eggs sort of looks like if Derek Zoolander fucked a turtle. But most importantly, he was on the Melrose Place rebootLaw & Order: SVU, and Gilmore Girls, which gets an eggs benedict-scented thumbs up from me.

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