“We Regret To Inform That The Carters Will Not Be Attending Your Second Reality Show Wedding”

April 22, 2014 / Posted by:

On top of everything else she has to to do get ready for her wedding (botox, botox, ass injections, botox) Satan’s drowsiest hooker Kim Kardashian now has to reconfigure the seating plan, because according to The Daily Mail, a source has told The Sun (do you have a grain of salt? Give it to me) that Beyoncé and Jay Z have returned their RSVP card with a giant X written in the box marked “Declining invitation”. And it’s not because it would have been too difficult for Beyoncé’s giant ego to compete for attention with giant ego of the bride, Kanye West.

The source claims that Jay Camel wanted to be at Kanye’s wedding and celebrate the sacred bond between a man and his plastic Real Doll, but after finding out that the wedding was going to be filmed for an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians and that E! had no interest in renaming the show Beyoncé & Jay Z: Guests At A Wedding, they asked to have their names removed from the guest list. However, Jay Z plans on making it up to Kanye by throwing him a huge bachelor party, and renting out a $100,000 yacht for his honeymoon. And Beyoncé plans on making it up to Kim by mailing her one of her old busted butt pads that was fished from the trash by an assistant with a note that says “This is for Kanye’s reality show girlfriend – XO BEY” 

And speaking of trash, here’s Kim scooching her cheap ass around Los Angeles with Kourtney Kardashian-Disick, and showing what happens when you loan a pair of jeans to Khloe.

Pic: Instagram, Splash

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