The Magazine Interview Where Lindsay Lohan Drinks Vodka The Entire Time And Says She’s Screwing A Married Man With Kids

April 21, 2014 / Posted by:

Lindsay Lohan’s on the cover of some magazine I’ve never heard of called KODE doing the “shitting next to a dumpster in the alleyway behind a club” pose and inside the magazine she shits all over Jennifer Lawrence, Rachel “Chupacabra” Zoe and shits all over her so-called sobriety by guzzling down vodka the entire time. Just Jared has a scan of the interview and it has more typos than your average Dlisted post and the only way I’ll believe it 100% is if LiLo says it’s all a lie (because her mouth’s got an opposite filter on it). KODE Magazine’s writer claims they were with LiLo in L.A., NYC and at Coachella and they watched her drink margaritas and drink vodka out of an Evian bottle at Coachella. The magazine also tells The Daily Mail that she did Ecstasy the first night of Coochella. During the interview, she became America’s #1 most wanted terrorist when she threw hate at America’s sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence and declared that she’d never fuck for roles (only 8-balls and second row seats at fashions shows). More hilariousness ahead:

On Jared Leto: “All my friends love Jared, we’ve been on and off for years.”

On Jennifer Lawrence: “She’s so fake and I’m sorry I’m not going to fuck for roles.”

On Chupa Zoe: “She stole a lot of my shit, designers would send me stuff and she would just keep it. That’s shady.”

On the married man she’s doing: “Oh this guy I’m seeing sent me a jet because he wants to see me, but he’s married with kids.”

On L.A.: “I really hate LA. I should have just listened to my mom and never moved out here. It just really wasn’t the best decision for me.”

At the end of the article, KODE says that LiLo complained about morning sickness and told them she thinks the dude she’s doing in London (read: a john) knocked her up. LiLo supposedly told them this right before she left for Coachella, but on her OWN reality shit show, she says she was pregnant months ago when filming started. LiLo’s spokeswhore told The Daily Mail that she did do a Q&A over email with KODE, but they closed their lips and refused to respond when asked about her boozing.

Lindsay Lohan is dumber than a dried-up coke booger, but I don’t think she’s dumb enough to fill her rubber mouth with the sweet nectar in front of a magazine writer while she’s trying to convince all of us that she’s the poser child for sobriety. KODE either made it all up or they’ve been had. If the “Lindsay Lohan” they interviewed constantly talked shit about that shady bitch Cookie Puss and regularly asked the writer for a Parliament in exchange for a hand job, it wasn’t LiLo. It was White Oprah in a teased Raggedy Ann wig.

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