Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 21, 2014 / Posted by:

Kanzi, the marshmallow-roasting, Pac-Man-beating genius bonobo ape who is smarter than most humans (I’m not naming names…. TERESA GIUDICE!!!).

Kanzi currently lives at the Great Ape Trust in Des Moines, Iowa where he’s the alpha male and his adoptive mother Matata is the chief leader. Kanzi was born at a field station at Emory University and a quick minute after he came out of his mom’s vagine, he was stolen and adopted by Matata. Matata raised Kanzi and she’d take him to her sessions where she was taught language through keyboard lexigrams. During those lessons, Kanzi wasn’t really into that shit, but then one day he started using the lexigrams without any assistance from Matata or humans.

Now at 33, Kanzi can communicate with humans through lexigrams, knows a little sign language (thanks to Koko), is a master tool maker, can beat the first level in Pac-Man¬†and most importantly he knows that marshmallows are extra delicious when you roast them. On the BBC One series Monkey Planet, Kanzi snaps twigs for a fire, lights them with a match and then roasts a marshmallow. Kanzi’s trainer said that one day he pointed to the symbols for “marshmallows” and “fire.” When they gave him marshmallows and matches, he made graham cracker and chocolate-less s’mores.

The Rise of the Planet of the Apes IS happening. It begins…

We should all just surrender to the apes now. Because when they declare war on us humans and we’re all standing at the battles lines, Kanzi will walk to the front, make a fire, roast a marshmallow and wave it at us. Most of us will drop our weapons and immediately join his side, because roasted marshmallows are delicious.

via Tastefully Offensive

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