I’ve never been to Coachella (there but for the grace of god go I) but what I’ve gleaned from the millions of pictures I’ve seen of Coachella, it’s really just an excuse for a bunch of assholes to get together and take selfies in the desert while listening to future American Idol montage songs, and that literally the only thing that makes Coachella tolerable is shovelling a shit-ton of drugs in your mouth and drinking till you forgot your last name. But I guess Victoria’s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio didn’t read that page of her Coachella brochure (which comes stapled to a crop top) because when she returned to Coachella this weekend she brought along her 5-year-old daughter Anja.
I would think that Coachella would be about as fun for kids as a trip to Discount Carpet Warehouse, because unless you’re tripping balls, standing in a hot field for 3 days posing for pictures sounds boring as fuuuuuuck, but this picture of Anja that Alessandra Ambrosia Salad posted to Instagram makes it look like she’s having an ok time and not cry-whining “I WANT TO GO HOOOOOOME”, so who knows? Maybe kids are meant for Coachella. Or maybe Anja is rolling hard on Pedialyte and really feeling a set by Arcade Fire. Either way, I think we can officially declare this to be the final nail in the coffin of Coachella’s coolness (which says a lot, since people have been nailing that coffin shut for years now).
Here’s more of Alessandra dragging Anja around Coachella this weekend. I will say this about Alessandra: snaps for setting limits with your child and not letting Anja dress up like the rest of the children at Coachella.