Ever since Kanye West first unwrapped his Kim Kardashian Real Doll back in, oh, whenever Beelzebub and PMK gave it to him as a gift, Beyoncé has done a pretty good job of avoiding that freaky-looking doll whenever possible. I can totally relate: when I was a kid, I found a one-eyed Baby Secret doll in my friend’s basement and I nearly shit my pants. That thing was more terrifying than Boglins (which was the gold standard for come-to-life nightmares until that point in my life).
But when it comes to avoiding Real Doll Kim, it’s not always as easy as staying out of the basement (“It’s really not that bad down here!” – Solange). According to Radar, as Beyoncé was leaving an appointment at her dermatologist’s office in Beverly Hills, the Twilight Zone music started playing and she came face-to-face with Real Doll Kim. But while Kim’s eyes lit up with excitement (which says a lot, since normally she has the eyes of Bernie from Weekend at Bernie’s), a source says the feeling wasn’t mutual:
“Beyoncé looked like she wanted nothing to do with Kim and was really trying to stay away from her. Kim was basically fawning all over her, and Beyoncé looked like she could have cared less!”
Then Beyonce yelled “Look over there! A video camera and a black dick on a giant pile of money!” and slipped out the door as Kim started ripping off her Spanx and asking “WHERE?!?!”
Since Real Doll Kim is modelling her life after “Stan” by Eminem, the source says she then instructed her doctor to give her the exact same procedures that Beyoncé had done (Botox and fillers). But that’s not really saying much, because – let’s face it – she was going to Botox and fillers anyways.
Here’s more of Kim at the airport yesterday with one of her favourite toys, the pretend cellphone her assistant uses to keep her distracted during the flight. Awwwww, it looks like she’s playing ‘important business woman’. “I’m calling Mommy! Hi Mommy, I’m a working girl! Buy low, sell high! What’s our ETA on that? Let’s me talk to corporate! We’ll touch base on that later! I’m making us money, right Mommy?”