You can stop running around grabbing people by the shoulders and screaming “WHAT YEAR IS IT??” into their faces, because no, you didn’t wake up in some kind of weird Groundhog Day time-suck and, yes, it’s still 2014. Don’t worry, I had the same reaction when I read that notable self-tanner enthusiast Will Arnett has filed for divorce from his wife, Parks and Recreation/SNL/everything you love star Amy Poehler, because it feels like that already happened, way way back in 2012.
And I’m sort-of right. Amy and Will crushed all our hearts in September 2012 by announcing they were ending what everyone assumed was a perfect and adorable marriage. But for some reason they waited a year and a half to file the papers, which could mean one of two things:
1. They needed some time to reflect on their decision in order to be absolutely sure they didn’t want to rub their down-lows on each other anymore
2. Someone fucked up and forgot to file them a year and a half ago
As someone who has an empty Fruity Pebbles box labled ‘TAX STUFF??’ hiding somewhere in the back of my closet, I have to go with Option 2.
But don’t cry for Amy and Will. Amy has already moved on to The League’s Nick Kroll (who kind of looks like the human version of Earl Sinclair from Dinosaurs, but he’s funny as shit, so yes, I totally would) and Will tried humping on Billy Joel’s ex Katie Lee for a while before settling on producer Erin David. However, if you still feel like crying and mourning the death of true love, do it over clips from Blades of Glory; it will make you feel a little bit better.