Night Crumbs
Conscious Uncoupling, Number Two: Goopy Paltrow and Seb Bishop, the CEO of GOOP, have broken up, because she’s moving GOOP headquarters to L.A. and he was supposed to move with his wife and kids, but changed his mind at the last minute. Eh, just a classic case of a dude realizing that sipping kumquat and mangosteen tonics with annoying Goopy at a Brentwood juicerié every day is a slow, painful journey that leads to jumping off of a bridge – Lainey Gossip
The Orange is the New Black season 2 trailer needs more Pennsyltucky – Towleroad
The Olsen that doesn’t live in a tree stump and doesn’t feed off of the fear of children is in Flaunt Magazine – Drunken Stepfather
Duchess Kate’s dress looks like these curtains my friend bought from CB2. FYI: It’s already sold out (the dress, not the CB2 curtains) – Celebitchy
That quick jerk you felt was the world continuing to spin again after Kate Upton declared that she loves her big tits – The Superficial
Kenya Moore is out-cunting Omarosa on Celebrity Apprentice – Reality Tea
This is what the nuns wear at Mel Gibson’s private Catholic church – Hollywood Tuna
Get out the cigars (in flavor: Lewinsky snatch), Bill Clinton’s gonna be a pepaw! – Buzzfeed
The supercut of The Real Housewives crying through the Botox is like watching balls of wax melt under a heat lamp…. – Jezebel
“I want to look like the last place loser of a Charlie’s Angels costume contest” said Hilary Duff before choosing this ensemble – Popoholic
Miley Cyrus canceled more shows, might not perform anytime soon and is still laid up in the hospital. In possibly related news, the number of new reported cases of herpes of the ears is at an all-time low – ICYDK
I was gonna say here’s some pictures you can print out and use as dart practice, but then again I don’t find it necessary to waste all that ink on this trash – The Berry
Eric Christian Olsen’s nalgas: here they are – OMG Blog
Seth Rogen perfectly and simply handles raging, weed-hating banshee Nancy Grace – Pajiba
Aw, nothing warms the no-heart like Xtina’s sugar baby putting his hand on his meal ticket – HuffPo
The X-Men: Days Of Future Past has another trailer – IDLYITW
Rosie O’Donnell lost 50 pounds of chunk and gained a wonk eye – Just Jared
Rest in peace, Gabriel García Márquez – Popsugar
Pics: Getty