That thirsty ass, Pedialyte-needing Beyonce! She can’t even let Basement Baby have 15 minutes under the dusty, weed smoke-filled spotlight at Coachella without jumping in and sucking in all of the attention. At the end of Basement Baby’s set at the hipster spring break nightmare hell hole known as Coachella, the Queen of the Universe Beyonce (wearing a hat attached to a weave) jumped on stage during “Losing You” to turn that Basement Baby Extravaganza into the Beyonce (featuring Basement Baby) Extravaganza! Beyonce was on that stage longer than Destiny’s Child was on stage at the damn Super Bowl. Those hipsters should really be ashamed of themselves. Because if they were for real hipsters, as soon as Beyonce jumped on stage, they would’ve pretended not to know who she was, said “Who?” and spent the rest of the show Instagramming pictures of the henna tattoos they got on their labias. But they lost their minds over Beyonce.
But seriously, celebwhores are just like us. They bust out choreographed dances with their sister. But instead of doing it in the garage to a Menudo song playing on a battery-operated Boombox in front of their stuffed animals, they do it for thousands of drunk fake hipsters in flower headbands in bindis at a festival in the desert.
Jay-Z also was a surprise guest at Nas’ set.
And while Beyonce was crashing BB’s show and Jay-Z was crashing Nas’ show, Blue Ivy Carter was at a nearby church crashing Saturday night mass. As soon as Blue Ivy Carter came through the back doors, all of God’s disciples stopped worshiping him and worshiped her instead.