Open Post: Hosted By The Vending Machine That Sells Weed

April 12, 2014 / Posted by:

If you haven’t already, now is the time to pack up everything of importance (in my case that would be a bag of Dortios and my collection of Rainbow Brite dolls) and move to Colorado, because once again have they earned the award for outstanding achievement in the field of stoner excellence by creating a vending machine that sells legal marijuana. Wait a second…what is this salty discharge leaking from my eyes? Oh god, am I crying?? Pass me a box of Kleenex, I think I’m having a moment.

According to The Cannabist, the ZaZZZ vending machine was created by American Green and is “an automated, age-verifying, climate-controlled marijuana dispensing machine.” One of the first ZaZZZ sightings has been at Montana’s Smokehouse in Avon, CO, which makes a ton of sense, since who wouldn’t want to get baked and eat a fuckload of pulled pork. And then eat a fuckload of ribs. And then take a nap. And then wake up from the dream you were having about a wonderful vending machine that sells weed and realize IT WASN’T A DREAM!!!

The ZaZZZ machine is a great idea because not everyone wants to be chatted up by a dude who looks Dave Gruber Allen when they’re buying the good shit, but I feel like it’s missing something, something that would make the weed vending machine even better. Oh, that’s right: a regular vending machine.

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