Katy Perry to herself: “This is totally my future.”
Everybody to Katy Perry: “Bitch, you wish!”
Cher’s tenth annual farewell tour stopped in Boston last night and she gave all of her fans (which I’m assuming all look like this… no, that’s not me… I think) more wigs, rhinestones and contouring than an entire season of RuPaul’s Drag Race. Cher wore Nicki Minaj’s wig better than Nicki Minaj wore it. Cher wore Brit Brit’s old nude bodysuit better than Brit Brit wore it. Cher wore Liberace’s rhinestone pool cover-up better than Liberace wore it. And she topped off that outfit with a heart-shaped red pasty covering up her 67-year-old nipple. Actually, I don’t think her nipple is 67 years old. Cher is probably on nipple #4 and the one she’s wearing now is not even a teenager. Or she’s not wearing a pasty and her nipple is red, heart-shaped and covered with tons of fucking sequins. I’d believe that.