Night Crumbs

April 11, 2014 / Posted by:

When Lohanthony screams, “Calling all the basic bitches,” this is what shows up. But really, let’s play a quick game of M/F/K. I’d marry Katie Holmes, because she has experience in bearding and I want to know all of Tommy Girl’s secrets. I’d fuck Jessica Biel, because you know she’s a power top and can work a strap-on. And I wouldn’t kill Kate Bosworth’s malnourished Enchanted Evening Barbie-looking ass, but I would feed her a few meals from Claim Jumper – Lainey Gossip  

Nothing is sexier than Miley Cyrus looking like a wet, topless and drunk Hermey the Dentist – Drunken Stepfather

Aaron Carter just melted into a puddle of meth and sadness – Celebitchy

Whatshername from The Real Housewives of Orange County is knocked up – Reality Tea

I see that Alec Baldwin is staying retired from public life….. – Towleroad

So I guess we have a new Ireland Baldwin in RPattz’s one-time piece. Yay us. – The Superficial

Sarah Hyland modeling the outfit found in every Coachella starter kit – Hollywood Tuna

RIP Coldwater Creek! – Jezebel

Emma Stone looks good and everything, but I’ve never noticed Spiderman’s cum drop eyes before – Popoholic

We’ll be drowning in more Duggars real soon – IDLYITW

Minnie Driver quit Twitter over whores hating on her bikini body – ICYDK

And I’ll take #1 through #29 – The Berry

Drake tries to trick people into talking trash about Drake by disgusting himself in a Kevin Spacey wig and a face merkin (and he still looks like Drake) – HuffPo

Prince William and Duchess Kate are still working really hard during their tour of New Zealand – Popsugar

Personally, I prefer to freebase crotch crabs, but my drug tastes are more refined – OMG Blog

Oh, Lea Michele and that Grade F Barbra Streisand impersonation….. – Moe Jackson

RDJ joined Twitter. Everything has changed. – SOW

Brad Pitt looks hot again – Just Jared

Pic: Getty

Tags:
SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >