Usually whenever someone famous dies, I have to cycle throughout the rolodex in my brain to see if I can come up with a match. Nine times out of ten I’m unable to do it; most of my memories have been replaced with Malibu from American Gladiators. But when I heard that Mickey Rooney had passed away on Sunday, my brain knew exactly who he was because he held a permanent place in my heart as Milhouse’s replacement in the Radioactive Man movie on The Simpsons. Unfortunately, there must not be a lot of die-hard Milhouse fans in the news world, because Jimmy Kimmel has compiled a video of multiple news anchors confusing Mickey Rooney for another very old papaw, 60 Minutes’s Andy Rooney.
Mickey Rooney became famous for playing a character named “Andy Hardy”, so it seems like a simple mistake. Except for the fact that Andy Rooney flew up to Heaven on the wings of his beautiful eyebrows in 2011 and was a broadcast legend, so you’d think that 99.999% of news anchors would know who the fuck Andy Rooney was. Franky, I’m more shocked that there’s this many people breaking confusing Mickey Rooney with Andy Rooney, and not Mickey Rourke. I had to practically type in MICKEY GOD DAMN ROONEY into my phone because it kept autocorrecting to Mickey Rourke (I don’t know if that says more about me or my phone).
And you know those mistake-making CBS news anchors have it the worst, because you know Andy’s grumpy pepaw ghost knows how to hold a grudge and he’s haunting the shit out of them in the newsroom as we speak.