Five Words That Should Never Exist Together: Anne Hathaway Sings Rap Songs

April 9, 2014 / Posted by:

Do not want. Do not want now, do not want ever, do not want even as a joke. I didn’t think it got any worse than unhip white people trying to rap, but it did. It got soooooo much worse. These are the times I wish I had access to time travel, so I could go back to yesterday, hunt Jimmy Fallon down like the Predator, and tell him I’m a visitor from the future here to warn him that unless he single-handedly wants to re-define NOPE, he should think twice about accompanying Ann-WITH-AN-E Hathaway as she sings a medley of rap songs like a lounge singer.

Everything about this was just so…dorky. It was like a Dad Joke came alive and crashed your sleepover by asking if anyone wanted to see his impression of “Snoop Doggy Dog”. If there is a merciful God watching over us, I pray that he never makes us witness Ann-WITH-AN-E-SO-HELP-ME-GOD throwing up gang signs and trying to back that ass up (which looked about as comfortable as Tom Cruise trying not to barf in his mouth while describing a vagina). Oh, and AnnEEEEEE? If I wanted the poor man’s Liza, I’d call up Lea Michele.

Here’s more of annE Hatha-way-kewl getting ready to promote Rio 2 on Good Morning America this morning. I think she took that sing-rapping a little too serious, because she’s mean muggin like a straight gangsta. For those of you who don’t speak Hatha-hater (her words OF COURSE) it means she looks like a miserable bitch. She finally flashed a smile as she was leaving the studio, but I have no idea why; being seen in public looking like Uncle Terry fucking inside of an IKEA area rug is nothing to be smile about.

Pics: Splash

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >