This Soft-Serve-Guzzling Florida Flower Who Destroyed A McDonald’s Knows How To Have A Good Time

April 8, 2014 / Posted by:

And on the next episode of Girls…..

When you hear the words, “Sorry, but we don’t sell that McRib shit anymore,” from a McDonald’s employee, your instinct is to strip down to your thong and wreak some havoc on that bitch before stopping for a quick soft-serve power-up so you can wreak some more havoc on that bitch. None of us do it, because we’re chicken shit, but thanks to liquid meth courage, this delicate and well-mannered orange blossom lived the Florida dream when she went Red Wedding on a McDonald’s in St. Petersburg while the employees refused to give one McShit as they laughed and declared her their new role model. During all the chaos, this terror in a thong couldn’t resist the urge to put her mouth under a soft-serve machine and fill herself up with deliciousness. That’s when I saluted her ass.

Tampa Bay Times talked to the St. Petersburg Police Department about this McToplessFreakOut and a rep said they were looking into it, but nothing’s been reported so far. So either this wasn’t reported, because it’s a daily occurrence at that McDonald’s. Or it’s viral marketing for McDonald’s new McFlurry with Bath Salts. Or it really is a lost scene from Girls and I’m glad the video cut out before Hannah fapped on that counter while eating a Filet-O-Fish patty.

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