Goopy Paltrow Goes SANS FARDS For A Picture With Moses On His Birthday

April 8, 2014 / Posted by:

What a completely natural portrait that was probably taken by Mario Testino and was created with the help of 3 assistants, 4 lighting designers, 2 hair stylists, 3 make-up artists who specialize in creating the SAN FARDS look, 2 publicists, a body language coach and a nanny waving a Twinkie. Goopy alsooil pulled” for 2 hours straight so her teeth could look whiter than her dancing.

While looking like a luck dragon letting out a fart, Goopy Paltrow held onto her son Moses in a picture she threw up on Instagram today next to the words, “Moses Bruce Paltrow Martin turns 8 today. We Love you!” You can almost hear Goopy say through her teeth, “Stop squirming, just one more picture and I’ll let you sniff that Twinkie. Your mother needs some good publicity and people need to see my wedding ring even though your father already pawned his off and used the money to buy a Steak ‘n Shake franchise.”

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