Woe Is The Douche: James Franco Is Just A Victim Of Social Media

April 4, 2014 / Posted by:

James Franco was on Live With Kelly And Michael this morning to promote whatever and his ass brought up the Instagram trolling session that made him look like a hard up, thirsty business man who’s in town for a convention and is trying to lure teenage ass to his room at the Ramada. The Instagram page of the 17-year-old Scottish girl that James tried to fuck has been deleted, but his attempt to get into her chonies lives on forever thanks to screen shots. On Kelly and Michael, James dribbled out a river of cold bullshit about how SOCIAL MEDIA IS TRICKY and BEING FAMOUS IS HARD and YOU CAN’T TRUST ANYONE ANYMORE and blah blah wah wah wah. Instead of admitting that he’s a 35-year-old cradle-robbing manther who just loves him some baaaaaarely legal ass, he shat up this load of smegma:

“I’m embarrassed and I guess I’m just a model of how social media is tricky. It’s a way people meet each other today, but what I’ve learned, I guess just cause I’m new to it, it’s like you don’t know who’s on the other end. You met somebody in person and you get a feel for them, but you don’t know who you’re talking to. I used bad judgement and I learned my lesson. But unfortunately in my position, I mean I have a very good life, but not only do I have to go through the embarrassing rituals of meeting someone… Sometimes if I do that it gets published for the world and now it’s doubling embarrassing.”

So the 17-year-old Scottish girl he met outside of his show turned about to be a 17-year-old Scottish girl? James Franco was totally tricked! Call Nev and Max, because this shit needs to be its own episode of Catfish. Bitch can talk about being tricked when an Internet hook-up sends him a picture that looks like Sam Worthington and when he gets to the hook-up’s apartment, that dude looks more like Sam Kinison (and yes, I still did it.) And what is this “embarrassing rituals of meeting someone” shit? James Franco is a celebrity and so pussy, ass and dick gets thrown at his face all the time. Bitch can talk about “embarrassing rituals of meeting someone” after he drives 2 hours to meet a Craigslist trick at a Winchell’s and ends up getting stood up and has to drown his sorrows in a bear claw (which is not a bad thing to drown your sorrows in).

So James Franco failed at picking up a 17-year-old, she put him on blast on the Internet and now he’s feeling sorry for himself? Put a butt plug in that whine hole.

The whole thing is suspicious, though. James met the 17-year-old Scottish girl outside of his show on the same day that the trailer for his movie Palo Alto (below) came out. Palo Alto is about a coach who gets it on with a teenage girl. And this all goes down just a couple days before he goes on Kelly & Michael where he talks about the embarrassing rituals of meeting someone. Hmmm… But the biggest piece of proof that this could all be a publicity stunt is: James Franco.

And did Kelly Ripa just admit to trolling for 17-year-old dick on Instagram?

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