Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 3, 2014 / Posted by:

Little Hugs Fruit Barrels!

While picking up the essentials at the grocery store (the essentials being: a jug of wine, beer, Easy Mac, beef jerky, Milanos, lube or a tub of butter), I went to the juice box area to get some Capri Sun, because what’s the point of being an adult if you’re not going to drink the crap you drank as a child with booze. I was taken back in time when I saw a box of Little Hugs on the shelves. I didn’t know that shit still existed. When I was a kid, parents used to give us that crap at birthday parties, because you could buy it for cheap at Big Lots (formerly Pic-N-Save) and it was a step above making us drink water from the garden hose while throwing handfuls of sugar at our mouths.

Little Hugs tasted like the Kool-Aid Man’s piss to me. To my tongue, it was fake Kool-Aid. But it was all about that plastic barrel. I used to collect them and use them for everything. I used them as pencil holders, I used them to play Niagara Falls in the tub with my He-Man dolls and if you’re about to ask me, “But did you stick your peen in one?“, the answer is I’m never going to tell. Okay, yeah, I definitely did.

I didn’t buy a box of Little Hugs that day, because they didn’t have the green ones and I remember the green ones being the only flavor that didn’t make me cringe. But I will go back and I will buy the green ones, because my life isn’t complete until I’ve guzzled down a Little Hugs and gin.

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