Night Crumbs

April 1, 2014 / Posted by:

St. Angie Jolie and Brad Pitt are going to get matching tattoos for their wedding and might I suggest a “Remember To Bathe” tattoo for him and a “Remember To Eat” tattoo for her ass? – Celebitchy

Another day, another set of pictures of professional hotness fighter Johnny Depp going for another gold in the Fighting The Hot Olympics – Lainey Gossip

Stephen Colbert shits all over that #CancelCobert wreck the only way he can  – The Superficial

Rita Whora poses for Elle and gets upstaged by her elegant and vintage “smelling a rose while gracefully giving herself a breast exam” tattoo while doing so – Drunken Stepfather

The Situation is baaaaaaaaaack, rub Valtrex powder all over your eyeballs – Reality Tea

What I learned from The Silver Fox’s interview with Howard Stern is that he doesn’t want his mother’s millions, he might want little foxlings in the future, he recently had shoulder surgery, he’s in love with his man and my nipples swoon and die when he says “cocksucker” out loud – Towleroad

Australians can safely pull out the ear plugs now, because Kanye won’t be busting out a mid-show rant there anytime soon – IDLYITW

Rosalind Lipsett modelbombs a construction site – YT

Emma Watson looks good and perfect and blah blah blah, but she’s a shameless thief for stealing the wedding shoes your auntie got at Payless – Popoholic

Josh Radnor sort of kind of lets out a sowwy for making millions of How I Met Your Motherfuckers (that’s what they call themselves, right?) ask for their 9 years back – Pajiba

Call me a grouchy whore, but hearing about the Circle of Life while traveling in a metal death trap thousands of feet above land is not my idea of a good time. Actually, call me a grouchy whore anyway. It turns me on – Jezebel

The Americans are doing it in real life, and didn’t we already know this? – ICYDK

The cream cheese deodorant trick would never work on Paula Deen, because she already uses cream cheese as deodorant – The Berry

Toby Kebbell is Doctor Doom in The Fantastic Four reboot and I cannot and will not comment on this casting until I see his nipples – Just Jared

Never mind that Backdoor Farrah wrote a book even though she can’t read, “Ellora’s Cave” sounds like a nickname for her asshole – HuffPo

What’s most surprising about these pictures is that Kim Kartrashian didn’t fuck that elephant’s trunk – Popsugar

RIP Frankie KnucklesOMG Blog

If you want Ryan Gosling on your snatch (and who doesn’t?), these are the perfect pants for you – SOW

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