Night Crumbs
St. Angie Jolie and Brad Pitt are going to get matching tattoos for their wedding and might I suggest a “Remember To Bathe” tattoo for him and a “Remember To Eat” tattoo for her ass? – Celebitchy
Another day, another set of pictures of professional hotness fighter Johnny Depp going for another gold in the Fighting The Hot Olympics – Lainey Gossip
Stephen Colbert shits all over that #CancelCobert wreck the only way he can – The Superficial
Rita Whora poses for Elle and gets upstaged by her elegant and vintage “smelling a rose while gracefully giving herself a breast exam” tattoo while doing so – Drunken Stepfather
The Situation is baaaaaaaaaack, rub Valtrex powder all over your eyeballs – Reality Tea
What I learned from The Silver Fox’s interview with Howard Stern is that he doesn’t want his mother’s millions, he might want little foxlings in the future, he recently had shoulder surgery, he’s in love with his man and my nipples swoon and die when he says “cocksucker” out loud – Towleroad
Australians can safely pull out the ear plugs now, because Kanye won’t be busting out a mid-show rant there anytime soon – IDLYITW
Rosalind Lipsett modelbombs a construction site – YT
Emma Watson looks good and perfect and blah blah blah, but she’s a shameless thief for stealing the wedding shoes your auntie got at Payless – Popoholic
Josh Radnor sort of kind of lets out a sowwy for making millions of How I Met Your Motherfuckers (that’s what they call themselves, right?) ask for their 9 years back – Pajiba
Call me a grouchy whore, but hearing about the Circle of Life while traveling in a metal death trap thousands of feet above land is not my idea of a good time. Actually, call me a grouchy whore anyway. It turns me on – Jezebel
The Americans are doing it in real life, and didn’t we already know this? – ICYDK
The cream cheese deodorant trick would never work on Paula Deen, because she already uses cream cheese as deodorant – The Berry
Toby Kebbell is Doctor Doom in The Fantastic Four reboot and I cannot and will not comment on this casting until I see his nipples – Just Jared
Never mind that Backdoor Farrah wrote a book even though she can’t read, “Ellora’s Cave” sounds like a nickname for her asshole – HuffPo
What’s most surprising about these pictures is that Kim Kartrashian didn’t fuck that elephant’s trunk – Popsugar
RIP Frankie Knuckles – OMG Blog
If you want Ryan Gosling on your snatch (and who doesn’t?), these are the perfect pants for you – SOW