The uncensored artwork for Miley Cyrus’s “Adore You” remix has been accidentally “leaked” to the internet (aka Miley emailed the picture to a possum, who then posted it to ChickenFriedChichis.com) and it’s actually pretty tame by current Miley standards. By this point, I’d expect a picture of a three-way between Miley, an Ajax-snorting gopher, and a bag of medical waste, or just a close-up shot of Miley’s asshole. But this? This is practically a Christmas card. Sure, she’s holding a blunt (it looks more like J. Jonah Jameson’s cigar) and one of her trailer park titties is hanging out. But the rest of her looks clean, and that’s blowing my damn mind, because Miley usually looks like the poster child for Cap’n Filthy’s Industrial-Strength Skank-B-Gone.
Take, for instance, the video she uploaded to Instagram earlier today of her pretending to get into a fight with the Hot Topic garbage goblin, Avril Lavigne over which one of them is the most famous person in Canada (You’re both wrong, ya dumb whores: the most famous person in Canada is that Liza-looking slut Ananas from Téléfrancais). I don’t know what they were going for in that video, but if it was “dry turd pulled from the rectum of sketch comedy”, then they nailed it. Even though Miley is dressed like a post-bathtime toddler – something that should conjure up thoughts of baby powder, Mr. Bubbles, and the Snuggle Bear – she’s completely unable to not look like the human representation of the violent skin rash you get if you come in contact with a ghetto pet store lizard.
So it’s definitely either a miracle or black hillbilly magic that Miley was able to look halfway fresh for the Adore You artwork. Maybe it’s the wig? Or maybe there’s a tool in Photoshop designed to clean-up skanky-looking hillbilly rodents? Yeah, it’s the wig. Anyways, you can judge for yourself; the NSFW picture is after the break.
I know it’s just a nipple, but doesn’t it look like that nipple is suuuper focused on that blunt? Wait your turn, nipple! You’re coming off a little greedy.