30-year-old Kitty, a dog trainer (yes, Kitty the dog trainer) and married mother of 1 tells ABC News that for years people have been telling her that she looks just like Jennifer Lawrence and I’m going to guess that most of those people were either drunk to the point where EVERYTHING looked like Jennifer Lawrence to them or they were legally blind, because Kitty looked like Jennifer Lawrence as much as my tattered b-hole looks like Megan Fox holding a rose in her mouth.
People telling Kitty that she looks like Jennifer Lawrence planted a seed in her brain and out sprouted the crazy idea to spend $25,000 (minus the discount from her plastic surgeon for doing it on TV) get six plastic surgeries to look even more like Jennifer Lawrence. Kitty’s four-week-long fuckery journey to become Jennifer Lawrence’s twin started in February at the First Surgical Hospital in Houston. Kitty’s plastic surgeon Dr. Franklin Rose gave her face lipo, body lipo, a titty job, a nose job and fat grafts to her cheeks and ass. All surgeries took six hours total and it took several weeks for her to fully recover from getting nipped, tucked and sucked. Kitty says that she ultimately got the surgery, because after she birthed out her 5-year-old daughter, she wasn’t that comfortable with her body and she really, really loves Jennifer Lawrence.
“I’m not trying to look like Pamela Anderson here during her ‘Baywatch’ days. I’m trying to look like a very capable, very personal level-headed female who is an Academy Award winner. I am a strong woman. I am in charge of how I look and I can change that and then change that again if I want. The reason why I decided to get surgery is because post having my daughter, I wasn’t quite as comfortable with my body,” she said. “I don’t think you have to be crazy to want to look better or feel better about yourself. That’s not crazy.”
The money for Kitty’s plastic surgeries came from a “me fund” she started before having her daughter. Kitty’s husband Eric didn’t think she needed to be touched with the plastic surgeon’s scalpel and he’s kind of “eh” about Jennifer Lawrence, so yeah he’s pretty much done with her ass. After all those surgeries, Kitty says she really looks like Jennifer Lawrence now. Here’s Kitty before, after and a picture of the celebrity she looks nothing like. Nothing is more tragic than a face cloning fail.
If I had $25,000 to spend on whatever, I’d spend it on hiring a scientist to perfectly replicate Jell-O 1-2-3 (aka the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth next to hard peen), so who am I to judge? (Actually, I’m still judging her, because spending $25k on bringing back Jell-O-1-2-3 is less crazy than proving that you’re a super stalker by getting plastic surgery to look like Jennifer Lawrence of all hos.) But it’s her money, her body and if she’s happy and sees Jennifer Lawrence when she looks in the mirror, then good for her. But the only way she’ll really look like Jennifer Lawrence is if Jennifer Lawrence was really Mystique and shapeshifted into Kitty. Because I see Mandy Moore, Kristen Wiig, Backdoor Farrah, a little Drew Barrymore and Kat Dennings, but I don’t see Jennifer Lawrence at all. It’s going to be really awkward when Jennifer Lawrence is asked about this and she’s horrified by the creepiness of it all. If that happens, Kitty can start hating on Jennifer Lawrence and stan for a trick she really looks like, like a Real Housewife of Any City for instance.
Here’s Kitty (and another chick who got surgery to look like Michelle Rodriguez) on ABC News.