“So what? I’d quit my job to boo that Bart Simpson wannabe Justin Bieber every day” – all of you reading this. And I agree; hearing that Tantrum Toddler got booed is about as surprising as finding empty Diet Coke cans in my shower (I love a good shower Coke). But it’s the circumstance of the booing that makes it a truly precious gemstone.
Canadian’s low-budget Grammy Award knock-off, the Junos, were held last night in Winnipeg (moose moose maple beaver – there, now it’s officially the most Canadian sentence every written) and by some unholy miracle, Justin won the Juno Fan Choice Award. Everyone’s favorite mischief-making Precious Moments figurine must have been too hard at work on his Busy Box, because he was a no-show. But it was for the best; the second the Canadian women’s curling team called his name (okay, now it’s officially the most Canadian sentence) that bitch got booed so hard, it was as if someone had pulled a Sinead O’Connor and tore up a picture of Anne of Green Gables:
Then during her acceptance speech for Best Songwriter, Serena Ryder (who clearly needs to drop everything and rush to the nearest MRI clinic to identify just how large that tumour is in her brain) came to Bieber’s defense, saying that he worked his ass off and deserves that award and bla bla bla. She’s right, though: you’ve got to work your ass off to be as big a douche as Tantrum Toddler.
But the real story here is that a group of polite Canadian people booed someone! I don’t think I’ve ever heard a Canadian sarcastically apologize to someone, let alone boo them. To put it in perspective, a Canadian ‘Boo’ is equivalent to an American ‘Fuck your bitch-ass life, you cunt-faced shit-eater!’ For instance, the last time someone cut me off while driving, I caught up to them at the next stoplight and the rudest thing I could think of was: “I’m sorry, but I really do not appreciate you driving like a dick”. Well, I mean, technically I didn’t say it to them; I sort of just thought it to myself. But I did give them a mildly dirty look!