Nikki Reed And Her American Idol Husband Are Consciously Uncoupling

March 29, 2014 / Posted by:

Not really; they’re just getting a plain ol’ divorce (only insufferable cunts who’ve lost touch with reality choose to consciously uncouple). Nikki Reed, the actress who played the character “woman truly ashamed of her career choices” in the Twilight series, and her husband, former American Idol contestant and current Gold Digger Club cardholder Paul McDonald are brunching at Le Café Sad this morning and every morning for the next couple months (or until Paul finds an available Hunger Games actress) because a rep for the couple has told People that Nikki and Paul are getting divorced:

“After much consideration, Nikki Reed and Paul McDonald are ending their marriage. They have been living separately for the past six months due to work obligations. They will continue to share their love of music, and are still working on their debut album, I’m Not Falling, releasing in 2014. They remain best friends and look forward to their continued journey together.”

They’re still working on an album together? Yeah…best of fucking luck to that. Clearly these two have never worked with their ex before; I give it 3 weeks before Paul, lazily content with all that Twilight alimony, starts blowing off recording sessions to hook up with an 8th-on-the-call-sheet actress from the Divergent sequel. Nikki, realizing that she’s made yet another terrible career choice, starts addressing Paul as “Not Scotty McCreery“. And eventually they’ll just give up all together and change the title of their album from I’m Not Falling to I’m Not Fucking Kidding, Stop Calling Me.

Pic: Splash

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