Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 26, 2014 / Posted by:

The “Who Broke My Win-dooooooooooe??????” guy in one of the Mormon Church’s singing commercials from the 1980s!

Decades before the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints cock-blocked gay marriage in California, they released some of the beautifully gayest commercials of the 1980s, and that’s saying some shit. They put out a series of mini-opera commercials that taught kids lessons. In this one, a Mormon Pavarotti in a knit vest and a young Carlton from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air yodel out a duet about broken windows and truth-telling. Watching it today, I ask myself, “And these were the hos who had a probles with gay marriage?” Hell, I want the dance remix of this to play at my gay wedding.

What this taught me is that brats in 80s commercials knew how to dress and almost anything can be solved with song. This really should’ve been the Book of Mormon’s finale number. You know, though, there’s false advertising in this commercial. What grouchy ass old person is going to be okay with some little shit breaking their window? If you replaced that neighborhood Pl├ícido Domingo with an abuelita, it wouldn’t end with hugs and long notes. It would end with that little brat putting his hands out while the abuelita sings Ave Chancleta.

Since Alfonso Ribeiro is in this, it feels wrong that they didn’t all break into the Carlton Dance afterward.

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